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Away from the Sun - Marauding Muses

About Away from the Sun

Previous Entry Away from the Sun Jul. 13th, 2004 @ 11:16 pm Next Entry
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From:ruby_black
Date:July 15th, 2004 04:27 pm (UTC)
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This was very well done, what with all the heartfelt emotions, regrets, and yearnings. I'm assuming this is Draco Malfoy, correct? And the young lady must be our very dear Virginia Weasley. What a devil she's become. Yet, I suppose she wanted Zabini THAT much...

The overall rhythm of this piece was excellent. All of the thoughts flowed smoothly into one another, but can we expect anything less from our cunning little Malfoys? He seems to rather be in despair, never leaving that dark room, always wallowing in what was and what could have been. The ending gives us a sliver of hope though, and that's always reasurring.

This was nicely done Anna, save for the few grammatical errors. We won't dwell on those though. ;)

-Ruby
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From:annatheskip
Date:July 15th, 2004 06:29 pm (UTC)

Good lord...

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:D...Old habits die hard, I guess. I see where I used [] instead of <> to make intalics...and a extra comma or two...But what can I say? I have no beta-er, sadly.

Oh well...thanks, Ruby! Yes, it is Draco, as I hoped most would guess by the description of him in the mirror. And yes, the lady was Ginny. She is quite mean to him, but...She had to be for the sake of the piece.

I still don't like it. Something about it just isn't quite right, and I don't mean the gramatical mistakes. I can't quite put my finger on what it is though. Maybe it's because it's my first Draco/Ginny piece, I dunno. I just don't know...
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